The Nigerian Police We Think About

Let me summarize the Nigerian Police.

The Nigerian Police is the best Police force you can buy. Cheaply. While all police forces have some degree of corruption in them. The Nigerian Police had turned it in to an art form. They are all corrupt. From the lowest to the highest. Their check points are everywhere.

Their sole purpose is for collection of cash. They look you over and classify you into two groups. The bribe group and the beg group. I fall into the beg group in that I look respectful, of the right age who is unlikely to have anything incriminating in the car and all my papers should be in other. It usually goes like this. “ Morning sir, anything for your boys today. We are in the rain”

For the sad taxi driver it is this. It is expected, and the money has to be ready for collection.

This road side extortion does not stop with the cops at the check point. It is understood that a certain amount has to be returned to the commander. Or you will be posted to a less lucrative checkpoint

Here is is picture of a cop doing his “accounts”

You can get away with murder in Nigeria. Depends on how loaded you are. Had seen it happen personally. Well not homicide but manslaughter. A very rich person’s son was drag racing many years ago. Killed a man on a motorbike. Mother saw the commissioner and the Police involvement stopped. Saw the police Pathologist. Patient now died two days later from embolism in hospital . No longer crashed by a car two days earlier. Saw the family of the victim. They got more money they ever saw in their life.The drag racer went to school overseas.

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Whatever you do , never get taken back to their police station. Bribe fast. Your problems just tripled on arrival to the station. A guy I know was accused of kidnapping the arresting officer.

The Nigerian Police are dangerous to citizens. Assault and extrajudicial killing are common place.

A story of a family friend. A fellow afro-Russian like me. He was 16. His family lived in a posh area of Benin city. He sneaked out late at night to see a girl and was killed by a policeman. The father was a former high official in the state. A big man’s son. So his body was found with several gunshots to the chest. He was dressed all in black and was wearing a mask. His body was found among other “bandits” killed that night and dumped behind the police station. The strange thing which the Police could not explain, was how the bullets got into his chest without even one hole in the black tee shirt he was found in. The Policeman has long been hung for the boy’s murder. He made a big mistake. He killed a big man’s son. Think of how many “bandits” they kill everyday that are not children of influential people. They are killed in public, broad day light while in custody and never any investigation. So just be glad if only this happens to you.

On a lighter note. Only probably in Nigeria can you hire the police. Fill a form, pay off the brass and give the cop some pocket money.

Now you can have this umbrella stand.

Or perfect for taking your wife shopping

Or just let him sit outside your door

Or just relax on your floor

They have no discipline. Fighting in public is not uncommon. Usually over money.

Yet they are known cowards. Rarely do they actually have a shoot out with real bandits. That is if they have the misfortune of meeting them. The bandits are now so bold that they go towards the police. Recently there was a robbery in town. Not far and within sight of two policemen on guard duty. As soon as the bandits drove off, the police started shooting in the air. So the bandits turned around. The police did what they do best. Run.

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The Police needs to be totally replaced with properly trained new people. The current ones are “irredeemable”.

I would like to give a guest mention to these people.

The federal road safety commission.

Whose purpose is to harass the drivers of nice cars. Checking for first aid boxes, reflectors, fire extinguishers and expired tires. All in the aim of extortion money off you. Ironically using bad dangerous parts of the road as a roadblock. Or better still, their bodies. No one stops for them otherwise.

Thanks Google for the images.

Credit: What do people think about the Nigerian police? Boris Ezomo

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