Of Misandry And Feminism

I have received a lot questions on the subject matter above: Of Misandry And Feminism. In this part of the world, not many people seem to understand the difference between Feminism and Misandry. This has in effect made feminism met with strong oppositions; even stronger oppositions from women.

My sister works with a women right group. They empower women while establishing and ensuring that the rights of women are not violated. Many people consider them charity organization. They see them as poverty alleviator. I went to one of her bases with her, while fixing some few things with a woman outside, I brought up the issue of feminism. The woman is not an illiterate, so she understood what I meant when I told her that feminism is gradually gaining ground on our soil. She turned and looked at me in an unpleasant way. She vehemently told me that God will never allow feminism to find its stand on their soil. Shocked I was. Also confused. I asked her why such extreme rejection and opposition of/to feminism. She said, “is it those people that expect us to abandon our homes, be beating our husbands or even kill our husbands? God forbid why I will beat my husband, or even plan to leave my marriage!” I stood lost in thought. I decided to educate her on what feminism stands for. I made her understand she is already benefiting from feminism.

We got to a point, I asked her if she could report her husband to my sister’s organization if he beats her, she responded in affirmation. I said well, you see, that’s it. You now know some aspects of your rights. You no longer feel you are a lower specie that needs to be beaten by a man and all that. However, she insisted that what my sister and her employers are doing is not feminism. That they are only helping people.

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Folks, this left me wondering where we got it wrong. I was wondering until one day, I was reading a post from a friend on Facebook, I came across where she mentioned that a man waiting for her to cook for him will die of starvation. Little inquiry revealed to me that the lady is a leading feminist figure. She is divorced. I tried to check her organization, it is filled with single, bitter, and divorced ladies. What? I couldn’t believe it. Are these people out to get a revenge? This is vendetta! It then dawned on me that a lot of leading feminists in our country are divorcees, single ladies, and women who have no family values. And so, the domestic women think they want them to start living like them (leave their husbands, don’t get married etc). I see this as a major setback to feminism in our country.

These women think they are being called on to abandon their homes, start maltreating their husbands, refuse to get married etc. This brings me to the question; when did misandry turn to feminism? We have tons of misandrists who hide behind feminism to unleash their hatred for men. It has also come to my notice that even the men who beat the drum supporting them are doing so in dishonesty. I have noticed that a lot of these men, avoid having any serious relationship with these female feminism (misandrists). This shows they are either supporting them for some benefits or for fear of being attacked by these misandrists.

Let me put it simple, feminism does not want you as a woman to leave your marriage or to start insulting and maltreating your husband. Feminism is only telling you that you’re not a housekeeper. You too can be the breadwinner. The breadwinner must not be the man. Feminism is only telling you that if you are carrying your family as a woman, you are not taking on anybody responsibilities and shouldn’t be expecting a special accolade. Feminism is telling a woman to stop crying our loud thinking she is doing the work of a man because she is the breadwinner of the family.

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On the side of men, feminism is telling you that when the child starts crying at night, it must not be the woman that will wake up to tend to the baby. Feminism is telling you that it is not the responsibility of anybody to wash the dishes, change the baby’s diaper, make the dinner, get the kids prepared for school etc, anybody that is disposed can do it. There is this imbalance we already have in our society. Imagine a situation where both husband and wife are working class, returning home tired and worn out in the evening, the man retires into the sitting room and turns to a DJ, hopping from TV channel to the other. This is not right. This is the objective of feminism. Feminism is telling you that nobody should be the panel beater in the house. Man don’t hit woman, woman don’t hit man!

I think we have come a long a way. I believe we have established one thing: feminism is not about dissing men. Feminism is not out to subjugate men. Let’s face it, there is nothing like the brain of a woman. It is established that both male and female brain have the same brain capacity. We have also seen that in blood transfusion, a woman’s blood can be used on a man with no complications, it works just fine like the blood of a man would. This is an indication that women being considered weaker vessels are not a natural phenomenon, it is a society construct. If you need heart or kidney transplant, a woman’s heart/kidney would work just fine like that of man would. It is therefore, not natural for a man to be the boss, it is patriarch. It is society stereotype.

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Women are entitled to the same amount of opportunity we give to men. There is no such thing as what a man can do, a woman can do better, neither is there such a thing like a woman should be under a man. Both man and woman need one another so partnership would best describe us than boss-subject cast.

Other Reads:

The Role of Women in Economic Development

50 Commonly Accepted Double Standards

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